Natural High

Posted On May 19th, 2024

My joy is worth healing for.

Last week, I experienced one of the best moments of my life. Alone. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. That experience taught me that I, alone, have the power to create a life that keeps me on a Natural High. In fact, I have the responsibility to create that life. And to do the work it requires to maintain it.

If the insecure and shy girl of my youth knew that I would one day stand confidently on a stage, shining bright, and seeking judgement…she would be amazed. And proud of the transformation she never believed could take place.

It took a great deal of (self) reflection, (self) acceptance, (self) forgiveness and (self) appreciation to get here. However, once I realized that I am enough and complete by myself. I learned how to create joy for myself. I began to invest in experiences that put me in position to feel the Natural Highs that I deserve. Experiences that others didn’t give to me – and therefore, others could never take away from me. That power…and responsibility…belongs solely to me.

For a long time I allowed the fear of being alone to make me addicted to superficial highs. Or exhilarating moments that I could only experience from being in connection to someone else.


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For my Favorite Admirer

Posted On February 14th, 2024

Every time I look at you

it’s a vibe

You’re fully locked in on me

And it shows

You look at me with the kindest, the softest, eyes I’ve ever felt

Your energy towards me is possessive

There’s no secret about your intentions

to protect me, my peace, and my happiness,

at all costs

Your compliments are consistent

You extend grace towards me

for the same flaws that you embrace

You set the standard for how to adore me

You can’t let a day go by without expressing your appreciation

for, and of, me

You are who I look forward to seeing




In my reflection

I love you

And you love me back

And as long as me and you remain good

Then everything else…

well everything else gone be alright

Happy Valentine’s Day Beautiful People!


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Scream Already

Posted On November 5th, 2023

The unthinkable happened in February and I’ve yet to scream. grieve. or heal.

Instead, I do my best to stay busy. Because stillness brings pain that only subsides to anxiety. Or the overwhelming fear of encountering the next trigger that will make me fall apart. Again. That will steal the smile I’ve managed to find – mainly because I know that’s what my Mama wants. For me to live. Be happy. The things she’s always wanted for me. Especially when I lost the desire – the will – to do either.

I’m afraid to grieve. To scream. To allow this pain to escape my being.

Because that’s all that is inside of me now. And once it’s free, I will have to find something to replace it. And whatever that something is…it won’t come from my Mama. She’ll do her best to send me her love from Heaven. But it won’t be in the form of her voice, her touch, her affection, her acceptance. The things that always brought me back from the place I went when I wanted to get away from life. And happiness that never really belonged to me anyway.

I realize that my Mama was my anchor to sanity. My protection from depression. The reminder of the goodness in me that came mainly from being a part of her.

Now my Mama is gone.

The pain consumes me.

The scream can’t leave me.


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Melanin Unicorns

Posted On December 20th, 2022

“Might I suggest you don’t mess with my Sis”
Photo courtesy of Ms. Childs

Have you ever seen a unicorn in real life? How about one dripped in melanin? What about a small tribe of melanin drenched unicorns that dominate and enhance their environment in the most magical ways possible – individually and collectively? You probably haven’t. But I have. And I have the privilege of calling these phenoms, these unicorns, my sisters.

Together, we’ve created a tribe of empowerment, accountability, and acceptance that is rare in a society most known for envy and competition. We even have the audacity to place crowns around our signature horns to further illuminate our uniqueness, grace and power. Indeed, we intentionally celebrate and enhance the very feature that others may find intimidating or even unbecoming.

And while we can readily acknowledge that we are not for everybody. We know that for those that choose not to accept us…it is their loss, not ours.  That is precisely why we refuse to allow each other to hide from the spotlight that both precedes our presence and emanates from our very being. To be clear, you can’t help but to know that we’re coming, and you’ll find it impossible to ignore us when we arrive. After all, we are an unapologetic force of fierceness. You cannot contain us anymore than you can change us. So don’t try.

Shine bright like a diamond
Photo courtesy of Mrs. 

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3 Ways that I Thrive Through Stress

Posted On November 10th, 2022

Thriving in Progress

3 Ways that I Thrive Through Stress

by Ms. Scott

There is an old adage that states, ‘nothing worth having comes easy.’ And my favorite lyrical genius, Tupac Amaru Shakur, once made it perfectly clear that he “don’t want it if it’s that easy”. Now, we all know what Tupac meant in his classic track, “I get around”. But let’s imagine, for a moment, that both of those statements referred to reaching some level of success.  By doing so, we could reframe the expressions to acknowledge that it will require a ton of effort to reach most of our goals. And also, that we should possess pride in our efforts to achieve greatness. The issues arise as those efforts transition from not easy to very challenging and eventually produce unwanted stress.  

Now to me, stress and anxiety are kinfolk. And I’m talking baby sister kin. Not that seventh cousin on my great great great granddaddy side of the family, kind of kin. I make that comparison to highlight that if I do not handle stress properly, it will quickly get the best of me because I am not my best self, when I’m anxious.  It is worth noting that stress is actually defined as ‘a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.’ While we don’t normally associate the aforementioned success with an adverse situation, we can all agree that we oftentimes find ourselves in demanding circumstances on our way to…and after we arrive at…success.


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Perfect Monster

Posted On September 24th, 2022

Perfect Monster

Original poem by Ms. Scott

Ms. Scott

I have two minds

One says I can do no wrong

The other says all I do is wrong

I listen to them both

My mirror shows two reflections

One of beauty, power, and hope

The other of unworthiness, weakness, and defeat

I see them both

I am at once enough and lacking

My consistent projection of perfection

Conveniently blocks your view of my flaws

Until it’s too late…for you

I am too strong to ask for help, much less receive it

It seems, I may just have to gather up my conflicting minds

And two faces and destroy your wonderful image of me

Before it’s too late…for me


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How signs of the Imposter Syndrome led me back to the Bodybuilding Stage.

Posted On June 26th, 2022

Who am I? That is without the titles given to me because of a successful career and motherhood.

The truth is, I honestly don’t know. More often than I will ever admit, I feel lost amongst the collection of powerful descriptors — Lieutenant Colonel, Battalion Commander, LLC Founder, published author, Amar’s mama — that still fail to portray my true identify. Sadly, it is possible for someone to be acquainted with me in one or all those roles, and still not know who I truly am. After all, I don’t even know.

According to a Psychology Today article, “people who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think — and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. Those with imposter syndrome are often well accomplished…”

I first recognized the signs of Imposter Syndrome in my own life when I realized my inability to extend grace to myself. My self-standards were too high…sometimes unachievable, and always unsustainable. Yet, I did not create a soft place for my pride to land in those moments when I did not — could not — deliver the results I expected.  I noticed the signs again when I acknowledged that if inpatient was a person, that person would undoubtedly be me. Because in my head,


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You missed the shot. Don’t ignore your chance to rebound.

Posted On May 30th, 2022

You expected your last shot to be ‘all net’. It turned out to be a brick. Your pride is hurt, and you’re embarrassed. So, your first instinct is to take a quick look around.  To check and see if anyone else witnessed what should’ve been your winning shot turn into an epic failure. That’s too bad — you took your eyes off the ball too soon.

Your first move should’ve been to look inside. Replay your mental reel. See what mistakes you made and more importantly, what lessons you need to learn because of them. And then maybe, just maybe, you could have quickly regrouped, and set yourself up to make an epic rebound. With the same shot you just missed.  

But you’ll never know. Because you lost focus. The game was still going on, the next play in action. Yet, you were stuck worrying about something you couldn’t change instead of looking for an opportunity to regain control.

The fact is, there are lessons in failure that will ultimately bring more value to your life than the satisfaction of success ever will. After all, over time, any player with talent and dedication will eventually make more shots than they will miss. However, the Most Valuable Player — in any game and especially in life — is the person that is capable of reviving hope after everyone else got discouraged and decided to give up. You’re not just any player. You’re an MVP.


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Announcing my new book release: “No Really, I’m Fine”

Posted On March 24th, 2022

PSA: I stopped reaching for the stars and just GRABBED one! And I confess, I love the way this success feels in the palm of my hand.  

Let me explain. 

Recently, I made the decision to stop aspiring towards my dreams, and to just do the work to achieve them. As a result, in the past 13 months, I published not just one book, but TWO. That’s right, I released my first novella, “A Table for One” in February 2021 and just published the sequel, “No Really, I’m Fine,” last week! Never mind the fact that this occurred while I served in a Key Development (KD) assignment in my full-time career as an Army Officer. I prioritized an accomplishment that served MY happiness, supported MY dreams, and fulfilled MY purpose. And I don’t have a single regret. On the contrary, I am beyond proud of myself for having the courage to put ME first. 

I am also extremely and externally grateful to everyone that supports my work. It’s true, I could never thank you enough for encouraging me to do that thing that makes my heart smile the brightest and biggest. Writing books. 

Indeed, no longer do I aspire to be an Author. I am one. Twice over. 

Grabbing stars is addictive. Try it out and let me know if you agree.


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Best Friends

Posted On January 12th, 2022

The goal of my life

Is to get my heart and mind

To ride the same wave

At the same time

And to have neither fall off

To realize that their connection

Has the power to calm storms

But that their separation

Creates them

I want my feelings and thoughts

To be Best Friends

That never fight, each other

But that will go to war, for each other

Creating a heart 

that listens to reason

And a mind that knows

when it’s not the right season

for love


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